The A Word: 9 life lessons we learn too late!

Posted bymeadandreaPosted inLive your best life

We’d all be mega-rich if we knew things ahead; imagine if we could predict the lottery numbers!  Unfortunately, we can’t, but perhaps some of our mistakes along life’s journey help us make better decisions today. Here are my top life lessons I wish I’d learned earlier 😊.

Before you read, I must point out that my list is very practical. We read stuff daily telling us to walk our own path, make every moment count and not everyone will like us, so don’t worry. But these are just words; honestly, I find all that stuff a bit wishy-washy. If you read some of the advice that’s out there on how we should live, our existence would be as dull as dishwater. My top takeaways are based on real-life experiences, and as I’m a fan of enjoying myself, getting the right balance has always been important to me.  See what you think!

No 1 – Pick your fights carefully

Why is this No 1 on my list? Because I’ve wasted so much negative energy getting into pointless arguments. I’ve had many confrontations, especially at work and regretted them. I find confrontation stressful, so why do I put myself through it. 

As I’ve got older, I’ve learnt to listen, accept that someone has a different opinion to me and move on.  I could’ve avoided many difficult situations and sleepless nights if I’d learnt this sooner.  I even find Twitter stressful these days.  Chill out, everyone; life’s so much more pleasant without arguments.

No 2 – Always do what you say you’re going to do

Someone very influential in my early career gave me this advice, and I reckon it’s the best I’ve ever had. How many people say they’ll do something and never do it.

  • I’ll call you back
  • You’ll have this by the weekend
  • I’ll pop around tomorrow morning to help
  • I’ll send you an email with the details

The list is endless, and we’re all let down by broken promises. Dealing with suppliers is a nightmare; electricity, gas, broadband, bank – it’s hugely frustrating because very few people do what they say they’ll do.

You’ll go a long way if you take this advice on board. I’m not kidding when I say that 90% of your work colleagues or friends won’t do what they say they will, so you’ll stand out. If you’ve agreed on a deadline but can’t meet it, call and explain rather than wimp out and not communicate. If you don’t want to do something, say no. I appreciate it’s difficult, but it’s better than saying yes and letting someone down.

No 3 – Look after your body

There’s no easy way to say this, but you must look after your body. I appreciate we’re all dealt different cards when it comes to our health, both mentally and physically, but there’s still a part we can play to improve our life. When you reach 60+, all the bad stuff you’ve done will come back and haunt you.  I’m not saying I don’t have fun! My 30s and 40s were spent drinking far too much surviving on too little sleep whilst stressed out with work!  I’ve got some great memories, so you have to find the right balance.  The takeaway is that whilst my lifestyle wasn’t great, I always found time to exercise, and I mostly ate healthy food, thereby maintaining my weight.  I’m not sure about my liver, though 😊.

Today, looking after my mind and body is my No 1 priority, especially as I have AS. If you want to feel good beyond 60, don’t let the weight pile on, and I can’t stress the importance of building strength, especially in the glutes. Our glutes keep us upright and push our bodies forward. Strong glutes are important for proper pelvic alignment, momentum during walking, and even being able to balance and stand on one leg. Glutes also help support the lower back during lifting and help prevent knee injuries. I’ve seen so many people who have no strength in their glutes. The result is bad posture, knee problems, and many other limitations stopping them from fully enjoying life.

No 4 – Sleep

Through lack of sleep, I’ve learnt how important 7 hours a night is. Like everyone, I’ve had periods in my life where I’ve survived very little. The result is I eat more unhealthy food, don’t exercise, and every single one of these life lessons goes out of the window!

No 5 – Use Sunscreen

When I visited Australia for the first time in 2000, I witnessed the damage the sun can do to our skin if we don’t protect it. The Australians are much better than we are at applying sunscreen, and I’ve used a high factor ever since. I stepped this up when I reached 40, and I never go outside without Factor 50 on my face, even in the Winter.  I use sunblock when I go abroad and never sit in the sun between 11 a.m. and 4 p.m.; I’m the boring person under the umbrella. Years ago, I saw a dermatologist who told me sun damage is the biggest single factor causing ageing skin. You might not mind today, but you might when you reach 60. Obviously, and more importantly, sunscreen helps avoid skin cancer. Oh, and sunbeds are even worse!

No 6 – Ditch the black eyeliner

I guess this applies to anyone who wears it – please throw out the black eyeliner. It’s OK in your 20’s, especially if you can do that intricate “wing thing”.  But after that, it makes you look older. I didn’t ditch mine until I was 50, and when I look at photos, I can see why it’s such good advice. A make-up artist told me that applying dark colours like black under your eyes is way too harsh and makes you look older than your real age.

No 7 – Save for your future

It’s hard to save, especially in today’s world, and I certainly couldn’t afford to keep anything until my late 30’s as the money I earned wasn’t enough to cover my outgoings.  However, Jamie and I have sacrificed material belongings like expensive cars and nice jewellery to save for our future. Neither of us come from families where inheritance would make a difference, nor were we on final salary pensions, so it was up to us to plan accordingly. I’m often amazed when people tell me they don’t need to save for their future because of expectations around inheritance, equity release, or even thinking that the state pension will be enough.

Research suggests that a couple in the UK need an annual combined income of £47,500 to have a retirement with few or no money worries, while a single person would need £33,000. Now, I think that’s a lot, and it’s a huge amount more that you’ll get from a state pension, so if you want to enjoy a better life after work and don’t have a rich family, you better get saving. Remember, if you rely on inheritance, life expectancy has increased, so you may be waiting well into retirement and wasting your best years. Looking after our elderly parents or relatives is costly, and if they have savings (i.e., more than £24,000), those savings will go into private nursing and health care before they can request any help from the state.

No 8 – Be kind

It’s so much better to be kind than unkind. Look after those close to you, don’t make people feel bad or criticise them, it’s not nice.  Say sorry if you’ve hurt someone and smile, even if it’s a difficult day; it will help. I’ve learnt that I’m not very tolerant and incredibly impatient, so if I’m finding it difficult to be kind, I keep quiet.

And finally……

No 9- Don’t drink cocktails on an empty stomach

Make sure you fill up on wine first.

Until next time xx

Published by meadandrea

Blogger, writer, author, love to travel, photographer

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