Hi everyone, it’s me again. I appreciate that this is my second blog in a month, but after researching, I’ve realised I need to challenge my brain more. Now that I’m retired, I’ve noticed that at least 80% of my day revolves around active pursuits like yoga, gym, hiking, and photography—I’m rarely still. I also enjoy reading and love writing, so I’ve decided to focus on those activities more. I bet you can’t wait to read more of my thoughts! My last blog about St. Agnes garnered the highest readership this year, so here we go again!
When I wrote about this topic last year, it was my most popular post in the four years I’ve been blogging. Today, I want to take a different approach to the same subject: Emotional Intelligence, or EQ. I hope you find some valuable takeaways from it, as, apparently, it’s the key to happiness.
First, let’s clarify what Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is: it refers to our ability to manage our own emotions while also understanding the feelings of others. EQ consists of four key elements: self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness, and social skills. I’ll explain these components further later in this blog.
On a personal note, I don’t wish to blow my own trumpet, but remarkably, I have a high EQ score. I only mention this to establish my credibility in this area. Thankfully, this is a positive trait, especially since I suspect my IQ score is rather average. 😊
How do I know this? Without going into too much detail, I was tested in my last proper job, a relatively senior role. As part of the management team, we needed to recognise our strengths and weaknesses to communicate effectively and lead our team to the best of our ability, ultimately resulting in a happier workforce. Therefore, we all underwent a full analysis day, followed by an official emotional intelligence (EQ) test.
Let me share an example. I personally dislike excessive detail, but some people thrive on it, and that’s simply how they communicate. Having a high emotional intelligence (EQ) means that instead of looking bored, I can recognise that my impatience isn’t a good trait. Even though I understand what they are saying within the first few seconds, I remain attentive for the next 5 minutes and don’t lose my sh*t. That’s being self-aware.
Some of our management team members had low emotional intelligence (EQ) scores. This didn’t make them better or worse than me; it simply highlighted our differences. I worked alongside incredibly intelligent people—many of whom were much smarter than I am—and I often wondered how I ended up in my position. I can only guess that my high EQ enabled me to navigate through all the difficult times.
So, let’s look at what’s possible and what you can take away from reading my blog.
Firstly, can you increase your IQ, or are you born smart? Sorry, folks, but experts generally agree there’s no effective method to boost intelligence directly. Factors like diet, brain training, exercise, willpower, or inspiration do not significantly affect IQ. However, some researchers have found that a rigorous academic curriculum can improve IQ scores, but only slightly.
But all is not lost. While we may not be able to boost our intelligence significantly, we can elevate our emotional intelligence (EQ) at any stage in life. The exciting part is that the skills associated with EQ can be learned and refined! It’s vital to understand that grasping EQ concepts is just the start; putting them into practice is where the real transformation happens. Even if emotional intelligence doesn’t come effortlessly, with dedication, mastering these invaluable skills is entirely achievable!
So, what are the traits of people with high EQs?
Number one is Self-awareness. It’s an incredible skill that allows us to recognise and understand our emotions and how they affect those around us. It’s the foundation of emotional intelligence (EQ) and supports all other aspects of it.
When we develop self-awareness, we unlock the power of self-regulation—the ability to manage our emotions and behaviors effectively. This journey starts with recognizing our feelings, which helps us maintain control during challenging situations. Individuals with strong self-regulation can pause and take a deep breath in tense moments instead of losing their temper, throwing objects, and slamming the door on their way out. I know! this is difficult!
Next is social awareness. Those who score highly in this area can empathise with others and grasp their emotions, fostering stronger connections.
Finally, social skills are the hallmark of a greatness. These skills encompass influencing others, managing conflicts, and inspiring those around us. Mastering these abilities is essential for nurturing and sustaining healthy relationships in all areas of life, not just at work.
Imagine this scenario: you’ve had a stressful day at work, it’s nearly Christmas, and you still haven’t done any shopping. To make matters worse, Sainsbury’s delivered six bottles of wine instead of your entire Christmas order because you mistakenly left them in your holding basket. On top of that, the kids have just finished school for the holidays! Those of us with high EQ can stop ourselves from poking our own eyes out, screaming, or drowning our sorrows in wine. But it does take practice😊
On that note, with my self-awareness skills fully engaged, I will say goodbye before I bore you to death. If you managed to read to the end, well done! If you gave up halfway through, you missed the best part.
Ho Ho Ho and a bottle of Merlot, until next time xx
Living-your-best-life 